Same sex Attraction

With a topic that can be so controversial, I couldn’t find a way that I wanted to write about it.  While preparing to write about this topic I had a lot of questions and a lot of things I did not understand about same sex attraction. Are people born with same-sex attraction? Is it a choice? Are there any influences that they have had in their life that led them to having it? I had a lot of questions that I needed help answered. I wanted to talk about it from all the different perspectives that research has given us, but more importantly from a perspective of what the people that have same sex attraction go through. I hope to be able to talk about it all as I go through this post. Please look past the faults of my writing             and read through the whole thing. Hopefully you will be able to realize some things as it goes on. I kind of want this post to be like my class, a survey course. Where I talk about all the different things involving same sex attraction and then in some way give new ways to view it.

            Ill be honest I don’t really know where to start or go with this, but in preparation for this post I called a close friend of mine. His name is Zane Kaelberer, Zane has openly came out and told his family and friends that he is gay. I asked him about how he felt and his experience with it all since he was little. The first question I asked him was if he believed he was born gay? Research has been done and they have not found any biological reason for those who have same sex attraction. Researchers have looked at hormones, and the brain to see if any genetics were involved in having same sex attraction. Without finding any I was a little surprised when he said he was born that way. He even looked into all the research himself but still knew he was born gay even though research showed otherwise. Now we have no idea if in the future it will show such but for now it is what we have. I guess what I really want to accomplish is to change how people view those with same sex attraction. When I spoke with Zane I asked him what he wished people knew about it. He responded with expressing mostly how much it means that his family was showing love and compassion towards him, rather than disgust and contempt. I don’t think people take the time to realize how one can grow up in a home where their whole life they are told that same sex attraction is wrong, and then have to deal with telling those same people they have it. He said dealing with same sex attraction makes you second guess everything. I mean that in second guessing who you are attracted to, but then it starts to infect every other decision in your life. It makes you constantly wonder about what other people think of you. Then you start to ask what do I think about myself which usually comes out negative. You don't feel normal. When he second guessed a big part of his life about attraction it affected all of his decisions. He said he wants people to know if you have questions then ask someone that has personal experience with it. Even if your not dealing with it, you should still ask someone who is dealing with it. It will allow you how to have the reaction the person needs.  People who come out actually take the time and think about it. Its a very personal experience.

            I wish I could fully explain more about the subject but I think I will leave it with this. We don’t really know why people have same sex attraction, but we can provide them with the love and support that they want. We can start to see that having same sex attraction is not wrong, but something that is very personal to those that have it. We need to understand what they go through and provide a way for them to feel comfortable about who they are. If we do that we will find new ways to love and new hearts for all of us.

Culture and Class

 Remember when I said that some topics in class are harder to write about, well this is one of those times. I’m not saying that its hard to write about because of information, but really more of how to explain it where you as the reader can gain something from it. In this post I would like to try to express different views on how culture and social class may impact families. I hope to show and provide information that lets us see how real the impact both have.  Cultures and social classes seem to play a role in our modern time view on families. As a general population it seems we categorize families and associate them with different cultures and social classes. These cultures we associate them with are usually defined or maintained by skin color, language or geography. What I believe we fail to miss is that each family has its own culture. It is not defined by race, or any other form of diversity you can think of, but that they have their own culture in the home. Each family’s culture is defined and maintained by its own religious beliefs, practices, the culture of the family’s older generations, and as well as the community the family resides in. I hope to somehow portray these aspects to reshape our view, and maybe just maybe look at families today with a little more compassion.

            An easy way that we can look at this is through our current problems. There is a problem we have in our day that has developed to become part of our culture. That problem is less and less couples believe in marriage. It seems couples want to have all the benefits of marriage but without any of its important meanings. I’m not talking about the marriage certificate, but I am trying to refer to what it means to be married. It’s about having that stability and permanent commitment with one another. This creates in their children a lack of preparation to be able to sustain a future relationship for raising children of their own. That is partly how culture today is affecting the Family system. The hard truth is that people today have no successful role models for long term couples behavior. It seems like marriage is an idea, but never really goes past that. Through the last few decades, we have seen more divorce rates, children born before marriage, and more people choosing to live together without getting married. As children learned from the parents through the generations it has created a cultural shift of continual failing relationships and they do not learn about what is needed for those long term relationships. We need another cultural shift , that’s not about just getting married but about what it takes to form and sustain lasting unions for raising our children.

            Culture in a family can dictate family members' roles and responsibilities toward one another, how family members relate to one another, how decisions are made within families, how resources are distributed, and how problems are defined. Understanding culture in a family can also help us realize that its how we deal with stress as a family. The beliefs that tie a family together is a bond that carries them through all the hard times in life. I say that because one of the factors of family culture that plays a big role in them is religion. Depending on the religion the family associates with, the family carries a set of beliefs that they go by. Religion can play a role in family’s roles, responsibilities, relationships, how decisions are made, and how they handle stressful times together. Being members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon), my family has a set of beliefs that invoke different realities that the culture can provide. I say can provide because we have our agency to choose between different choices. Some will lead to joy while others would lead to the opposite. My parents are one, they believe working together and making decisions together create a closer bond that will help insure the safety of their family. As Children we were taught about love, compassion, strength, honesty, work ethic, integrity, and so much more. Most if not all the teachings we had growing up came from our religion and what we believe. We were taught to find guidance from our father in heaven if we were unsure of the direction we were going in life. We were taught to respect and care for one another as Christ does. We learned about responsibility and our roles as future Priesthood holders. If we take the time to understand how different views of religion impact the culture of a family, we can start to see where that family gets its view on life.

If we do that we start to grow love and mutual respect for all the families we see and meet. We see that no family is better than the other but we are all here trying to do the same thing. We are all going through struggles while trying to raise our family and provide for them that they may accomplish all that they desire at the same time.

I hope you are getting what I am trying to say. I am trying to express that no matter how rich, poor, or what race you are, it doesn’t change your opportunity to have happiness. We can learn about the culture that our family has and then make a shift if needed to create a healthy environment for our family to thrive. The culture we create in our families will have impact on further generations. Its our job to show them what it means to have a stable and communicating relationship, and an environment that shows what it takes to support one another.