With every passing year there are theories that are constantly being brought forth and are being discussed about families. These theories tend to deal with the relationships inside the family, and how they really influence the family as a whole. I hope to talk about them and try to give some form of knowledge for you to see them in your own family. Hopefully it helps to see some theories that surround family life and relationships in them.
In the family, there are family members; each member can be affected by different circumstances. The Systems Theory talks about how individuals cannot be understood in isolation, but rather as a whole part of a family. Families are a connected group of interdependent people. This means that those in a family are dependent on each other. With everyone in a group they are all affected by the different choices and decisions made by each member. When we recognize this theory in our family we start to see the whole is greater than the sum of all the parts. Here's an example. Say that there is a family of just a father, mother, and one child. Instead of seeing just one form of relationships, we see that there are in fact 4 forms of relationships. The mom and the father. The mother and the child. The father and the child, and then all of them together as one, the mother, father, and child. We see that you cannot take away one from the other, and that each person with each relationship has a role to a rule. If you look at your family, you can see that each member has a different role. Most of the time I feel like my role is that of a court jester. I make my family laugh and pretty much entertain them. They shouldn't even really have to watch TV, but please take this observation into consideration. Hopefully it helps my thoughts connect.
A family is seen walking through Wal-Mart. You see a mother pushing the cart and doing all of the shopping. The husband is behind her with the three children trying to herd them like chickens to stay with their mom. Every time one of them tries to go astray into a random isle, the father gently brings them back into the group and they continue on following mom where ever she goes.
What role do you see this father having? Is he the one that cleans up after dinner? Is he the one that cleans the house? Maybe he believes his role is to follow his wife and make sure that everyone is there with her. Whichever role it is, he has one. It could be he saw his role of a father was to guide and protect his children, and to keep them on the straight and narrow path. We all have a role, and I would encourage you to look and see what your role is; how do you affect your family system? Is it for better or is it for worse?
Now the next few theories might seem a little bit shorter but thats because they are a little more to the point. In a family, there is what's called the Exchange Theory. No, this is not about who can give the better gift, or best gift. Its about how each person differs in what they see as rewarding. What one may see as rewarding and worth the investment, another can see it in the way that they didn't receive everything that they should have from the experience. An example of such happened today. My friend Nick today took a brush and cleaned all the snow off my car. When I asked him why he did it, he replied "I love serving". Talking about this experience with another student he expressed that he wouldn't find it worth his time to clean off someone else's car. What Nick found rewarding and worth his investment, was not rewarding or worth it to the other student. In families, siblings can find different things as rewarding, and others not rewarding. Think of an older brother and younger brother. What one of them finds worth their time either via through sports, school, or even relationships, the other might be the opposite. Knowing this, we are able to see what is rewarding to our different family members, and then realize what is important to them. We will grow a desire to serve them and to help them achieve what is rewarding to them. In turn they will do the same. We allow ourselves to be an ally to their happiness. That would be so easy in a perfect world right? If everyone just helped everyone into eternal happiness, but thats not the case. There are different things that can make that very difficult.
One of the most common theories in a family is whats called The Conflict Theory. I believe this theory is something that so many families complain about. I mean this in the sense that they single out one member with this problem. The Conflict Theory is when a person sees that they are greater than others. They have greater knowledge, strength, and anything else that they see that can hold them above the rest. It describes that whoever has the most power should and has the most influence.
This is me and my brother. We both know a lot of information about different topics, and it seems when we are together we use that information to try to top one another with who is right. This leaves me saying he's to prideful to listen to anyone else, because he thinks he always is right and everyone should realize that he is. The mentality that no one can tell him differently because he's right. I haven't had this conversation with him, but I would guarantee he thinks the same about me. This is one reason we have conflict between the two of us. The constant battle between who is superior. The thing is, we both need to make that change to end that conflict. The Conflict Theory, if you let it, will always leave your family in a constant state of conflict.
With all these theories there is one that focuses more on the examples and symbols in actions of a person. The Symbolic Interaction Theory proves how we are shaped through symbolic interactions. We develop meanings through experiences from other's actions. For example lets say you constantly walk past the same person every week and wave your hand at him. After you wave he waves back. The symbol of waving has become a form of saying hi to one another. In a family, different symbols and actions means something. Each form of physical, emotional, and any other forms of attachments allow each individual to develop a different meaning to each. Think about what could be symbols in your family. What is naturally understood in your family? How do people in your family take these symbols, and how has it shaped them?
I hope that as you read this you can start to see these at work in your home. I hope you can see the reward in understanding how each of these can affect the relationships that your family has and has the potential to have. Again if you have anything to say then please comment. I would love to hear your opinions and feelings on the topic that I am writing about. I enjoy hearing everyone's feelings and emotions about families. They are such an important role in our lives from early development to later in our years, each with a purpose to nurture and provide a safe haven for growth in each other. Love your family, understand your family, and most of all, believe in them. Believe that family and actually being a family is important. God bless.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Family
Family: by definition family means a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. But what really stands out to us about the title of Family? Do we accept the given definition, or have we made our own trends and theories about what the definition of family should be? Does family include actually being married? Is it family to be married without children? For those who can't physically have children, do you think to adopt? Do we feel that being a part of a family means to love our significant other and that's it? That love is going to be the only thing that carries us into eternity, and it doesn't need to transform into anything more than that? Are you really committed to your marriage, and supply it with the necessities needed for it to be the beautiful blessing God has intended it to be?
These "Myth Trends" as they are called, say that love is all you need but is that really so? The average couple well on its way to divorce claim to love each other, but have 10 areas of significant incompatibility. These are compatibility areas that matter and are important to the function of the relationship. It is normal in our generation for mothers to work with children under the age of six because of the new opportunities that have risen for women. People have said that because of such, it takes the mother away from the child during crucial years of their development. It has also come to an understanding that sexual relations outside of marriage are ok, and are perfectly fine. Me personally(as well as others) see people are forgetting that intercourse was sanctified and given from God as a way to create life, and that act of love is between a man and a woman within the bonds of marriage. We have the duty to be involved in our families lives, and have to be willing to get to know them deeper and deeper as time passes by. We need to understand how they feel on certain subjects.
Understanding your spouse on an intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and even on a sexual level are things that love leads to. Love can transform into something eternal if we let it, and let ourselves partake in such a transformation. I am not trying to imply that after this transformation takes place that its perfect, because its not. There will be conflict at times, but there is a difference between conflict and fighting. You can have conflict, and not be in conflict. As a couple you can build a relationship that can last an eternity. You can have the hope that any conflict you are currently having in your relationship can be mended and restored to a greater height than it was before. I believe we all need to look and search for what families were created for.
Yes this is my first blog and I feel that so far it has sounded more like a lecture from school than anything. I read it and see that I'm here telling you whats wrong and that I'm going to tell you how to magically fix it. If that is the case and what you have found in this so far then I apologize. I want this blog to actually mean something to someone, something that they can look up to and possibly even hold on to at times. Every family has its pain, and every family has its type of bondage. My goal with this blog and also in life is to help families free themselves from that bondage. This blog centers around families, and each week looks at different aspects of them. I will be honest, some are harder to write about than others. I will have faults in my writing. I will be the first to admit that I am a terrible writer. It takes me so long to talk about the points I want to express as well as it all making sense by the end. My mom and sister can confirm that. So if you are reading this then please continue reading and bare with me till the end. I always ask my sister for advice on how to write things. My family supports me, they help me when I need it. They are always there for me when no one else is. I love my family dearly. We have our faults, and problems. We have our sibling conflicts that have driven us to a point where our relationships seem superficial at times. We seem to only call one another only when we need something from them. We don't call and ask how their day is going, whats going on, or if there is anything they are struggling with that we can help them with. My mom tells me all the time that she hopes there will be a time that I will be excited to see and talk to my brother again. That things between us will change. I will sit there and tell her me too, but yet I will do nothing about it. In a way it kinda describes what I'm trying to say. I love my brother so much, but we have not communicated or have taken time to build a strong understanding foundation as siblings to push past just loving one another. The same principle is associated with you and your spouse. To have a relationship predicated and built upon understanding each others souls and emotions. To really be close to one another and develop a bond that will never be broken. God has blessed us with the opportunity to make our brothers, sisters, husbands and wives our best friends. The type of people you can always count on, and depend on. The type of people you can express feelings to without any worry of judgment. He has blessed you with the means to feel the care, love, understanding and the charitable compassion we all desperately desire. To love and feel loved without question.
With divorce rates increasing, more and more areas of contention are rising, and there are fewer beliefs in families as a whole. We are left to decide what our values will be, and if we will hold them. It is not a secret that families have dwindled, and that they are being attacked to the point of being torn apart. The environment in which to bring up a family has become worse, and worse as time has gone by. Standards have fallen, and have been compromised for worldly pleasures. Families as we once knew them have fallen due to worldly pleasures. I exhort you to take some time and talk with your spouse about how you want your family to be. Talk with with them about the strength you want to have between each other, and what you want to understand more about one another. Even if you're 50 years into your marriage, you can still have growth, and that growth in marriage and families is eternal. Families are a blessing, and are to be treated as such. That is my testimony. I know that to be true.
SIDE NOTE
Yes this is my opinion and feelings. So I will let you decide if you think these trends are either important, not important, or not a big deal. Feel free to comment those answers.
-Delaying marriage
-More Couples without children (declining birthrates)
-More mothers going into the workforce (with children under six)
-Co-Habitation
-Pre-Marital Sex
-Children outside of marriage
-Increased Divorce Rates
-House hold sizes ( limit on how many kids)
These "Myth Trends" as they are called, say that love is all you need but is that really so? The average couple well on its way to divorce claim to love each other, but have 10 areas of significant incompatibility. These are compatibility areas that matter and are important to the function of the relationship. It is normal in our generation for mothers to work with children under the age of six because of the new opportunities that have risen for women. People have said that because of such, it takes the mother away from the child during crucial years of their development. It has also come to an understanding that sexual relations outside of marriage are ok, and are perfectly fine. Me personally(as well as others) see people are forgetting that intercourse was sanctified and given from God as a way to create life, and that act of love is between a man and a woman within the bonds of marriage. We have the duty to be involved in our families lives, and have to be willing to get to know them deeper and deeper as time passes by. We need to understand how they feel on certain subjects.
Understanding your spouse on an intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and even on a sexual level are things that love leads to. Love can transform into something eternal if we let it, and let ourselves partake in such a transformation. I am not trying to imply that after this transformation takes place that its perfect, because its not. There will be conflict at times, but there is a difference between conflict and fighting. You can have conflict, and not be in conflict. As a couple you can build a relationship that can last an eternity. You can have the hope that any conflict you are currently having in your relationship can be mended and restored to a greater height than it was before. I believe we all need to look and search for what families were created for.
Yes this is my first blog and I feel that so far it has sounded more like a lecture from school than anything. I read it and see that I'm here telling you whats wrong and that I'm going to tell you how to magically fix it. If that is the case and what you have found in this so far then I apologize. I want this blog to actually mean something to someone, something that they can look up to and possibly even hold on to at times. Every family has its pain, and every family has its type of bondage. My goal with this blog and also in life is to help families free themselves from that bondage. This blog centers around families, and each week looks at different aspects of them. I will be honest, some are harder to write about than others. I will have faults in my writing. I will be the first to admit that I am a terrible writer. It takes me so long to talk about the points I want to express as well as it all making sense by the end. My mom and sister can confirm that. So if you are reading this then please continue reading and bare with me till the end. I always ask my sister for advice on how to write things. My family supports me, they help me when I need it. They are always there for me when no one else is. I love my family dearly. We have our faults, and problems. We have our sibling conflicts that have driven us to a point where our relationships seem superficial at times. We seem to only call one another only when we need something from them. We don't call and ask how their day is going, whats going on, or if there is anything they are struggling with that we can help them with. My mom tells me all the time that she hopes there will be a time that I will be excited to see and talk to my brother again. That things between us will change. I will sit there and tell her me too, but yet I will do nothing about it. In a way it kinda describes what I'm trying to say. I love my brother so much, but we have not communicated or have taken time to build a strong understanding foundation as siblings to push past just loving one another. The same principle is associated with you and your spouse. To have a relationship predicated and built upon understanding each others souls and emotions. To really be close to one another and develop a bond that will never be broken. God has blessed us with the opportunity to make our brothers, sisters, husbands and wives our best friends. The type of people you can always count on, and depend on. The type of people you can express feelings to without any worry of judgment. He has blessed you with the means to feel the care, love, understanding and the charitable compassion we all desperately desire. To love and feel loved without question.
With divorce rates increasing, more and more areas of contention are rising, and there are fewer beliefs in families as a whole. We are left to decide what our values will be, and if we will hold them. It is not a secret that families have dwindled, and that they are being attacked to the point of being torn apart. The environment in which to bring up a family has become worse, and worse as time has gone by. Standards have fallen, and have been compromised for worldly pleasures. Families as we once knew them have fallen due to worldly pleasures. I exhort you to take some time and talk with your spouse about how you want your family to be. Talk with with them about the strength you want to have between each other, and what you want to understand more about one another. Even if you're 50 years into your marriage, you can still have growth, and that growth in marriage and families is eternal. Families are a blessing, and are to be treated as such. That is my testimony. I know that to be true.
SIDE NOTE
Yes this is my opinion and feelings. So I will let you decide if you think these trends are either important, not important, or not a big deal. Feel free to comment those answers.
-Delaying marriage
-More Couples without children (declining birthrates)
-More mothers going into the workforce (with children under six)
-Co-Habitation
-Pre-Marital Sex
-Children outside of marriage
-Increased Divorce Rates
-House hold sizes ( limit on how many kids)
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Hey Ya"ll,
My name is Joshua Lapeyrouse, and currently I am working on my major which is Marriage and Family Studies and Relations. We are asked to start a blog about what we learn and discuss in class. My first thought was I have never done a blog, as well as I had no idea what to even blog about. If my grammar is off, I blame the south. Im from a little town in North Carolina called Lexington. If I mention the Tar Heels winning a game, its because I love the team and Im excited for their win. Mostly the blog will consist of Family Studies and the different aspects that define families. I hope what I write in some way will bring people joy as well as a different perspective perhaps of families in general. Im really pumped and excited to learn and to share what I learn. If at anytime you have questions about what I write please message me! God bless.
Also check out my classmates blogs!!
Andrea Ashley Muse
http://alittlebitaboutfamily.blogspot.com
Hannah Westerlind
http://hraefamilyrelations.blogspot.com
Lauryn Larkin
http://laurynannettemcclain.blogspot.com
Kelli-Marie McNair
http://mcnairfamilyties.weebly.com
Kenzie Calderwood
http://kenziekate3.wixsite.com/mysite
Kaylee Crossley
http://kayleerene.blogspot.com
Madison Reed
http://www.myyoungwildandmarriedlife.com
Shelbie Merrill
http://shelbiefamilyrelations.blogspot.com
Abbigayle Shaffer
http://fightingforfamily18.blogspot.com
Amy Jacques
https://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com
Emily Nichols
http://emilymarriageandfamily.weebly.com
Natalie Jolley
http://ajolleylife.weebly.com
Bonnie Ferguson
http://bonniefamilyrelations.weebly.com
Amberlea Kay
http://amberleakay.blogspot.com
Leticia Calderon-Rios
http://lotsoflittlethings17.blogspot.com
Morgan Ogden
http://morgansfamilycoursereflections.blogspot.com
Karly Buchanan
http://familyrelationsbykarlyb.blogspot.com
Kelsey Trent
https://lipglossplusflipflops.wordpress.com
Melanie Chantry
http://myfamilyrelationsjournal.blogspot.com
Alyssa Wiley
http://the-ramblings-of-a-young-mind.blogspot.com
Megan Garner
http://www.garnstar.blogspot.com
Alayna Hudson
http://thoughtsaboutfamily.blogspot.com
Kayla Guy
http://kaylaguy4.weebly.com/blog
Ryan Landes
http://ryanfamilyrelations.blogspot.com
Mariah Honda
http://eternalroads.weebly.com
Amy Jacques
http://theneedtoknowthings-family.blogspot.com
Sarah Knight
HYPERLINK "http://skfamilyrelations.weebly.com"
Christopher Holden
http://relationsfamily.blogspot.com
Hannah Boots
http://familyrelationsb.weebly.com
Bailee Freeman
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)