In this blog I would like to talk about coping with stress.
This is more on how families can cope with stress but also just coping in
general. I feel when people know and understanding coping a little more, I don’t
need to tell you were to direct it.
So to start
off, what does coping mean? Coping is a process, its how people find away to
accept the stress and then find away to get through it. Let’s look at it
through a metaphor. In construction they have a tool which is called a coping
saw, this saws job is to be able to cut pieces of molding to the point where
they fit perfectly together. When the pieces of molding are perfectly cut together
you are unable to see the stresses in the wood as it swells and as the swelling
goes down. The stress on the wood seems like it is not even there. The process
of such is to measure the shortest wall first, and then the other walls and
make small adjustments as necessary. This shows that coping is a process and as
you take your time while putting forth effort you will be able to handle stress
to where it almost seems its not even there. It shows that there are tools and
resources that we can use to help accomplish it.
Another way
to look at it as through the coping of a swimming pool. The round curve that
hangs over the water is coping. Think about what you use that for. You probably
use it to stand on, to help yourself out of the pool, it gives you something to
hold on to, and you notice that it keeps water from splashing out. As we
understand coping better we see that it is something that we can stand on while
dealing with day to day stressers in our life. If we prepare and know how we
can cope with our stress we see what we can achieve. I believe when we have the
ability to measure our stress and make adjustments carefully, we don’t allow
ourselves to believe everything is fine. We don’t let ourselves get lost in our
own pride, but that we need a way to handle our daily stress.
But coping isn’t
just for daily stress, its also for in times of crisis. When something completely
unexpected happens how do we handle it? I have learned about a model that helps
me a lot with this question and I would like to share with you. Its called the
ABCX model. “A” stands for actual event, or the stresser event. The “B” stands
for both, as in the resources and the responses you have to the event. The “C”
stands for the cognitions you have, as in the definition that you learned and
created for that event. The “X” stands for the Total eXperience that you received
from it all.
After every
stress event we learn and develop new resources and definitions for ourselves to
use in the future. I feel like I can tell you how coping can help you for the
whole blog , but it wouldn’t do much good. I believe we all need to find out how
we can cope and how we cope already. SO I encourage you to think about how you
cope with stress already, and I encourage you to read again the metaphors and
ask yourself what you can learn from them.
I ask you you to do this because when one person in a family
has stress then it impacts the rest. The rest of the family can feel the pull
from the one member who is having trouble. Talk with your families and ask each
other how one another handles stress. Watch your family grow.
