Coping metaphors

In this blog I would like to talk about coping with stress. This is more on how families can cope with stress but also just coping in general. I feel when people know and understanding coping a little more, I don’t need to tell you were to direct it.

            So to start off, what does coping mean? Coping is a process, its how people find away to accept the stress and then find away to get through it. Let’s look at it through a metaphor. In construction they have a tool which is called a coping saw, this saws job is to be able to cut pieces of molding to the point where they fit perfectly together. When the pieces of molding are perfectly cut together you are unable to see the stresses in the wood as it swells and as the swelling goes down. The stress on the wood seems like it is not even there. The process of such is to measure the shortest wall first, and then the other walls and make small adjustments as necessary. This shows that coping is a process and as you take your time while putting forth effort you will be able to handle stress to where it almost seems its not even there. It shows that there are tools and resources that we can use to help accomplish it.

            Another way to look at it as through the coping of a swimming pool. The round curve that hangs over the water is coping. Think about what you use that for. You probably use it to stand on, to help yourself out of the pool, it gives you something to hold on to, and you notice that it keeps water from splashing out. As we understand coping better we see that it is something that we can stand on while dealing with day to day stressers in our life. If we prepare and know how we can cope with our stress we see what we can achieve. I believe when we have the ability to measure our stress and make adjustments carefully, we don’t allow ourselves to believe everything is fine. We don’t let ourselves get lost in our own pride, but that we need a way to handle our daily stress.

            But coping isn’t just for daily stress, its also for in times of crisis. When something completely unexpected happens how do we handle it? I have learned about a model that helps me a lot with this question and I would like to share with you. Its called the ABCX model. “A” stands for actual event, or the stresser event. The “B” stands for both, as in the resources and the responses you have to the event. The “C” stands for the cognitions you have, as in the definition that you learned and created for that event. The “X” stands for the Total eXperience that you received from it all.

            After every stress event we learn and develop new resources and definitions for ourselves to use in the future. I feel like I can tell you how coping can help you for the whole blog , but it wouldn’t do much good. I believe we all need to find out how we can cope and how we cope already. SO I encourage you to think about how you cope with stress already, and I encourage you to read again the metaphors and ask yourself what you can learn from them.

I ask you you to do this because when one person in a family has stress then it impacts the rest. The rest of the family can feel the pull from the one member who is having trouble. Talk with your families and ask each other how one another handles stress. Watch your family grow.