Divorce

Divorce is something that I feel like I could talk for a long time on. I have seen how it effects people, and plays a cognitive role in their lives. Back in the day getting a divorce was not easy. You had to have a very valid reason for why you wanted to divorce your spouse. It seems like now all you have to do is not like the person. Generally, it seems that all it takes is an urge that leads to two angry people signing papers, or the two people getting a divorce decide on that “they just don’t have anything in common anymore.” That “they aren’t compatible anymore.” Something that I believe personally is that incompatibility is not really the problem, its how you deal with those incompatibilities. I am sorry for saying this, but I feel like divorce is sometimes an extreme version of people pouting. Now don’t take this the wrong way, not every divorce is like that, and no divorce should be taken lightly. Divorce sometimes is necessary. I am trying to imply that the view of divorce has changed over the years greatly, but the effect of it has not.

            Divorce has a direct impact on the kids. Imagine yourself trying to deal with a problem, but having zero knowledge to do so. The research shows that the children who go through a divorce have a hard time coping with issues regarding their own relationships. This usually comes from the child not having a functioning relationship to learn from. Children constantly learn from their parents on how to deal with certain situations. With divorce, research shows that a divorce is how the child learns to deal with marital problems, not actually communicating to resolve the issue. Further more it affects the parents. Depending on the relationship, both women and men, can feel skeptical about even dating again. It can damage the view of any relationship in their eyes.

             As time goes on, remarriage happens, and family roles change. The struggle with children can start to occur. But getting remarried can play a pivotal role in your child’s life. Consider this, “A strong step family marriage is critical for the relational development of the children. Step Family children, especially those who have lived through a parental divorce, need to witness and learn from a healthy marital relationship. This counteracts the negative and destructive patterns of interaction they witnessed in their parent’s previous marriage.” A strong family is one that has parents who are strong together first. We can not let ourselves get sucked in the disillusionment of it all. Disillusionment describes the universal experience for adults to believe that remarriage will release of their bondage of loneliness, and loss. They believe that as long as they get remarried, all of the problems they had in their first marriage will magically go away. That is not true. If you do not learn and work to better yourself, the same thing is going to happen again. Parents who remarry should invest in their new marriage with the goal to have it to be a joyful one. That means you will be willing to communicate, and understand each one another to resolve issues. The want for a strong, unified family is there, and the actions associated with the unity is also shown.

            Again, I feel I could go on and on about this topic, because it means a lot to me. It is one of my biggest fears with marriage. To have an argument, and then boom, my wife would be gone. But I also know that I will look for and marry someone that I can talk to, and who is willing to communicate, so that we do not end up getting a divorce. I know that I will love my wife, and that the last thing I would want to do is lose her. People say that pain is just weakness leaving the body. Yeah well, its leaving straight to your soul. Because that kind of pain never fully heals in us, and it never fully heals in our children.